Sgt Ford's Apology for Anti-Gay Attack
Wednesday, February 24, 2010 9:59AM

After the US Air Force handed down its punishment -- including docked pay and lowering of rank -- Sgt. Benjamin Ford, who physically assaulted us and used anti-gay slurs, wrote this unsolicited letter:

Dear Mr. Hayes,

First, let me thank you for taking the time to read this letter.  I realize that I am one of your least favorite people and you could have easily ripped up the letter and not given it another thought, but you didn't.  I can only hope that you will continue to read and allow me to express my sincerest apologies for the pain and suffering that I caused you and your friends.

On the night of September 25th, I went to the bar on 9th Avenue with the intention of having a good time.  I had a few drinks and was enjoying the atmosphere just as you and your friends were.  Unfortunately, I continued to drink beyond what was reasonable and began to experience the negative effects of alcohol.  Some people say they grow ten feet tall and become bulletproof when drinking; I must admit I was feeling similarly.  I was also feeling quite belligerent.

When I walked outside that night, you could easily say that I had a large chip on my shoulder.  Call it macho, call it showing off, call it being an imbecile, call it what you like.  I admit that I was being an overbearing, callous bully who was looking for someone to fight with.  At that time, you three gentlemen came into range and I let my anger get the best of me.

For that display of anger and the horrible names I spewed, I will be forever embarrassed and ashamed.  Not only did I embarrass myself, I embarrassed the good name of the military branch I serve and the ideals that we so justly protect, namely, "that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights; that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness."  I hurled vile condemnations at you and threw punches and kicks.  I attempted to inflict a great deal of pain, both physical and emotional.  It was an egregious offense that none of you deserved and one that I am utterly disgusted at committing.

I do not know your opinion of the military, but I am sure that I have tarnished it immeasurably.  Please let me tell you that the military does not condone such behavior and has enacted strict measures to negatively reinforce my actions of that evening.  The biggest blow was being demoted in grade.  Although that may sound trivial, it has a huge impact upon a once spotless career.  The loss of prestige has been humbling as personnel who once worked for me are now in charge.  The demotion also reduces my pay by hundreds of dollars each month.  I was once eligible for promotion to the next higher grade... no longer.  Now I will have to meet eligibility requirements for my previous grade before building toward any higher grade.  For a few minutes of thoughtless, insensitive action, I will have to make up approximately three years of my life and forego tens of thousands of dollars that I could have earned, in addition to the considerable amount of pay withheld from me as an initial fine.  This incident will be a permanent mark in my record and forever in my mind.

In addition to negative reinforcement, the military has instituted preventative measures to positively reinforce correct social behavior.  Professionals have helped me to understand why I behaved the way I did and they have educated me on ways to avoid it.  First, I attended alcohol abuse classes.  The amount of alcohol that I drank was beyond prudent and brought on conditions that I was once unaware of.  That does not excuse my behavior, but prevention starts with education.  I also attended anger management classes which helped me to interact with people and events rationally and to handle my own anger issues in a constructive way.  As a personal measure, I'm preparing to speak in front of groups of new personnel in the military.  I can only hope my story will stop someone else from offending the way I did.

I've written about what happened that evening and I've written about how the military dealt with my actions.  I would like to close with writing I'm sorry to you and each of your friends.  My behavior and language were completely unacceptable and I am ashamed of the things I did and said.  What I did caused you pain and suffering; I apologize for my words and my actions.  You did not deserve to be treated that way, no one does.  I have embarrassed myself, my family, and my country.  Whether you are able to forgive me is certainly your prerogative, but please know that I will never repeat this behavior in the future.  I am truly sorry for my heartless actions.

Lastly, thank you for taking the time to read this letter.  You've shown me far more consideration than I showed you.

Sincerely,

Benjamin Ford

Sgt. Ford photo credit: Easterling/US Air Force